Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
