NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
