I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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