My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
