He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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