She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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