Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
