We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
