There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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