just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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