I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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