I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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