But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
