There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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