Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
