You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
