At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
