I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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