id be glad to
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Boobs speak an international language.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
