You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I AM VODKA MAN
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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