i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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