My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
