I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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