My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
