Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
