Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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