i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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