How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So squirting runs in the family.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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