Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
