I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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