I wish life had little blips of pornography
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
