Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
