i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
