There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
