just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
