That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
