Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
