I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
