sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Randomize
