i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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