I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
