My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your penis caused this!
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