just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
