sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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