me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
smell my finger.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
