just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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