gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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