I bet he comes in French.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
