Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
