Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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