she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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