:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
